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~ words I'm exhaling

Breathings From My Heart

Monthly Archives: July 2023

“…ask not for whom the bell tolls”

10 Monday Jul 2023

Posted by BRomero in Free Thinking

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How many of us think about John Donne’s words quoted above in the title?  Do we get so caught up in the illnesses and tragedies of others that we have little time to acknowledge to ourselves that one day the death bell will most certainly toll for us.  Do we take the time to reflect upon how we’ll feel when it does, if we’ll have regrets, if we’ll be ready to, as my father would say were he typing this piece, “meet our maker”?  Will we be at peace with our lives, how we’ve lived them and where we are when we hear our bell toll?

Getting caught up in the craziness of each day is becoming easier and easier, rushing to meet the deadlines, the pressures, the “have to’s” of the day as told to us by the calendars we keep, whether on paper, on our phones, on our watches, or maybe on all three of those and more.  Our calendars have become our masters, have they not?  Of course, we need them.  We don’t want to miss important appointments, but have we begun to lose the ability to discern the importance of each entry for the day?  Are we so worried about missing an obligation, about disappointing someone to whom we’ve committed, in doing all we can do with each day, that we don’t allow ourselves the luxury, the pure indulgence, of living a day for ourselves?  Do we even know what that feels like any longer?  Some of my friends don’t know what to do if there happens to be a blank day on their calendars.  Fraught with the concept of spending a day untethered to an appointment of some kind, they frantically search for a way to fill that conspiciously empty space, the one glaringly blank on an otherwise full week. That will never be me.

Interestingly, when the bell tolls for someone else we do somehow carve out time in our schedules to remember them, pay our respects, comfort the families.  After all, we’re caring, loving people.  Running from hither to fro each day, whether because of children, a job, a sick relative, or an obligation we’ve made to ourselves doesn’t make us less sensitive to other people’s needs, or does it?

I know I need to slow down, smell those proverbial roses, whatever form that takes for me.  I definitely need to take time to note for myself all the gratitudes I have, simple ones such as having a pillow for my head, and some not-so-simple as when a daughter finally beats her cancer.

Where does all the running get us, anyway?  What does it lose for us?  Time.  Precious time. The bell will toll for us soon enough.  I refuse to chase it!

Why not slow down with me?

I’ll start tomorrow and see how that goes.  Will I be idle?  No, not yet.  Will I work?  Yes, too much to do.  Ah, but here’s the difference.  I will not over schedule myself, I will not put unrealistic demands on myself, I will not feel inadequate when my list  isn’t finished.  I will not criticize.  I WILL take breaks, listen to music while I do a task, remember to stop and eat lunch.

I will slow down.  Think about slowing down, too!

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BRomero

BRomero

Hmmmm. Wife, mother, grandmother. Retired zany English teacher who had the pleasure to teach gifted and Advanced Placement students. Usually optimistic, though lately that's been harder. I am a political junky, though I never write about it. Living life one day at a time, have learned that retirement is busier than being employed!

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