Dear Heavenly Father,
I come to you this morning
Empty of strength
Empty of joy
Empty of the words I need to pray

For pray is what I must do.
Johnny, our beloved Johnny,
Has the enemy cancer invading his body
As I type this to You.
Stay near Him, Lord,
He is your good and faithful servant
Keep him close, ease his fears and his pain.

Lord, my Leisha sleeps, dreams, and
And wakes lives her life, tries to go on
As if life is ordinary
But it is not
My Leisha’s body has been invaded
Not only by cancer, but by the doctors and
Others who are trying to save her life,
Trying to make sure she lives to
See her children grow to become adults,
Enjoy her grandchildren. But they, too,
Take control of her life
Just like cancer has.
O, Lord, You, who are all powerful,
All-encompassing, all things to us,
Walk beside my child
Hold her in your arms,
Comfort her and let her feel
Your presence
So she may know she does not fight alone
So she may know your love
And rid her body of disease.

O Lord, help my sister, my Nan
As she, too, battles cancer.
Be with her as she also faces
Treatments and fights for her life.

Lord, HELP ME, please Lord, HELP ME!
I am growing numb
I am forgetting how to pray
I am going through my days by memory
Waking, sleeping, living,
Waking, sleeping living,
In a fog
Not knowing where to turn
But to you
You who wait for me
Patiently wait for me to turn
Toward you once more

Here I am
I’m trying to turn
Stand so I can see and find you
Touch me so that I recognize
I’m on the right path.

Here I am, Lord
Looking for, reaching for,
Begging for, pleading for
You

O Lord
It is you that I seek
You who I need
You who can do all things
And yet I find myself sometimes
Running from you because I’m
Running from my life

Foolish

Lord, you have given me everything I have
I know that
I have no strength to list all my gifts from you
I haven’t the pages to lift them all to you
But in my heart I know I am blessed beyond measure

I am without direction

I am lost without a compass
I am desperate for you.

I ask your forgiveness.

I ask for your indulgence.
Help me to take what I know in my head and put it in my heart.
Help me as I seek you.
Meet me, Lord.
Catch me when I fall toward you.

While I seek you in the cancers,

the grief and the fear

Call to me
Let me hear you in my fog
Let me remember always what you have given me – more than I can ever say

Thank you for those gifts, lord.
Thank you to my parents. O God, thank you for my parents.

Thank you for my husband who must live with a wife right now who is lost,

seeking, crying, angry, and sad.

He is one who deserves much more than he has.

I am looking for you, lord.
I know you can see me
I know you can hear me
I know you are with me
But I want to feel it in my deepest and darkest places

I will put on your armor, and I will fight the enemy of despair as best I can.

You will be there to guarantee my victory.

Help me, Lord. I am looking.

In the holy name of your son, I pray and pray and pray.

Amen